so, quick before i go skate!  the giants game was pretty stinkin nuts!  giants lost but the bottom of the ninth was nuts!  full count, man on 3rd, 2 strikes...6-5 cubbies...and what does the man do!?  he hesitates as the ball crosses the plate!  but i still had a great time.  jo and her friend ended up not going so i invited bristol and she invited a friend and we had a great time.  its funny cause last year bristol and i didnt really talk at all but then this year we have hung out a lot more and talked like every time we have seen each other. 

shes pretty dope and she has the cutest son ever!  his name is cameron and he is def gonna be a skateboarder when he gets older.  every time we have skate church or something he comes and watches us so he knows where its at.  and she is down with it too so she is an awesome mother.  but today should be good, just gonna skate and chill then later tonight we are makin a d.i.y. spot and thats always the bomb trip so i'll leave you biddies to the rest of your day!

 

God is Great!

okay so im gonna try to make this one quick.  so basically the past week, week in a half has been pretty awesome.  lots of hangin out with Jo and doin first timers.  san francisco is stinkin gorgeous at night.  the other night jo, jake and i went and spent the night at this cabin that her job owns and it was right off the beach.  perfectly beautiful...God is a pretty stinkin amazing creator.

um...the next morinin we skated the new san francisco park, its kinda cool not as big as you would expect it to be though considering its the first park to actually be built in the city and all.  but its alright.  dennis businitz was there and he gave me props on a trick that i was doing, then i rock fakied on this massive wall, pretty dope.

skate camp has been going pretty well too. my kids are learning pretty fast and doing great!  oh! im going to a giants game tomorrow with jake, jo, and a friend of heres.  pretty excited for that.  and tonight, johnny, nick, jake and i went to a couple private mini ramp sessions with some local big timers.  pretty sick, got plenty of footage. 

there are tons of other things going on...but in the midst of all this God is really workin on me and teaching me a lot of things.  i cant believe that he is really taking care of me and showin such patience and care...for the past month, month in a half God has just really been pressing on me that he is my daddy as well as my saviour.  I have to thank Raising A King for allowing themselves to be used by God and helping me to see the time, tenderness, and care that God has with me through their love for their son Pablo.  they are pretty amazing parents.  and thanks aaron for havng my back and being a prayer warrior when i needed it, im seeing victory man, and its awesome!

i will try to blog a little more often, im just gettin in super late and goin stright to bed.  till next time!

 

God Bless, Get Hype!

 

p.s. i do like giraffes.  they are my favorite animal!   their necks are crazy!

so what up yall?  nothin much here just chillin in RWC Ca.  (thats redwood city).  skatin everyday an meetin new people like everyday so its pretty hype an im feelin it!  God is doin some big things both here an back home in indana.  Aaron (one of my lead pastors) got it off an poppin!  He has set up a skate camp, and skate demo in a couple different locations here soon, and i think the craziest thing is that im not there!  so i just really feel like God is showin me that this is His not mine, so i dont have the weight of this being sucessful on my shoulders.  feels good that God is in control of this so when i get back to the nap an take over its still in His hands.  pretty sick.  but there is a lot on my mind and the next few weeks are about to get crackin so keep me in your prayers on that tip.  i want to be focused on what God has me here for.  and now i leave you with a bit of a poem that this new female rap artist Lanz wrote (dont worry bout checkin her out, shes good but yea, she has a pretty filthy mouth i dont even listen to her i just came across this)

FIGHT FOR WHAT I BELIEVE IN/ EVEN, IF WHAT I BELIEVE IN STOPS ME FROM BREATHING!

"WHAT YOU GET BY REACHING YOUR DESTINATION ISN'T NEARLY AS IMPORTANT AS WHAT YOU BECOME BY REACHING YOUR GOALS- WHAT YOU WILL BECOME IS THE WINNER YOU WERE BORN TO BE" *On the Battelfield of Ideas, Winning requires moving towards the sound of the Guns. Always find something New...do something else, Challenge yourself Creatively. Happiness Is Not a Frivolous Pursuit. We Must Always Have Old Memories, And Young Hopes. "To Love is to risk not being Loved in return. To Hope is to risk Pain. To Try is to risk Failure, but Risk must be taken because the Greatest Hazard in life is to risk Nothing at all. 

God Bless, Get Hype!

peace

ryan 

June 16, 2008...I dont know how many years its been...but tonight is the first time ive been able to look at myself in the mirror, to look myself in the eyes and not walk away trying to ignore and forget the, the guilt i felt, the disgust that i held, and the shame and how ive failed to achieve what God has expected of me. 

But tonight, today, from here on out, i hold my head high and i look in the mirror and see this guy, a man of God.  who is strong and mighty, and ready to fight.  i look in those eyes, these eyes of mine, and see something that was there all along since the beginning of time and i know that its mine.

 

hey how you doin?  oh im doing quite fine; my, hasnt it been some time since we last spoke?  why yes it has, far longer than you would hope.  well to tell you the truth a lot has changed, im not the person you once knew, im not the same.  why yes i can see, its very clear to me!  i see in your eyes, my what a surprise!  but i must confess and simply exress, that i didnt expect, the next time we met,  that they next time we talked you would have grown in your walk.  you see, you always ignored me and tried to forget, and often times get quite upset at what would reflect when you would looked into the mirror that set on your wall.  but tonight, today from here on out ive changed, youve changed, youre not the person i once knew, youre not the same, im new.  hi how are you?  oh im quite fine, thank you, my its been some time.

hey folks, sorry its been so long since ive posted.  im not gonna lie it will be relativly hard for me to post the next few montsh cause im in california skating and stuff and computer access is somewhat limited so.  but anyway, God is awesome, He got us here safely, i actaully came from boston stopped home in the nap for a day then headed to californa so its pretty awesome to be able to say that God has blessed me with the opportunity to travel across america!  lieterally!  and it would have never happened (most likely) had my sister not gone to harvard.  which she graduated by the way...thats why i was in boston.  but i think we are going to go get something to eat so i will try to blog as often as possible. thanks and i love all of you!  keep me in your prayers, and if you have any prayer requests just let me know!

God Bless, Get Hype!

today was pretty decent...i just felt like using the word 'decent'.  but i got some stuff done today, the refuge fund raiser party went over pretty well,  we all had a good time and MC Till was off the chain as expected!  got a lil skatin done today but i really need to stretch before i skate cause my muscles are really tight right now.  gonna be in philly and new york and all that jazz for the next week so keep me and my family in your prayers!  if you have any prayer request you can hit me up!!!

this past week has been pretty nuts...ive been plagued with injuries for the past 2 weeks so its very depressing considering im about to go to skate mecca in a week.  but im pretty stoked and im healing.  things are nuts though cause ive got so much to do this week.  plan and put together a party, plot out a route for our trip to california, plot out a route for our skate stops on the way to boston.  there is much more but i dont want to even begin putting it on here. 

but in the midst of all this chaos and the injuries God has been building me up.  He has been healing my heart

and showing me a lot of new things and really showing me where he is taking me and im excited and scared at the same time.  My life is going to be completely different when i get back from california, in a good way, but its gonna be tough.  some big changes that are all good...just...change is hard.

i bathed in your glory last night, i layed in the sunset.
i breathed in your awesomeness, i felt your cool breezes against my skin.
i gazed into your kingdom, and heard the sounds of your presence all around me.
your beauty escapes me, when i see the wonders of your power.
oh great king of the universe how is it that you love me?
creator of all, sustainer of life.  Thank you for loving me Daddy.

this is kinda random but it was on my heart:

did you say a prayer for our brothers in arms?
on this weekend were we recognize the harm,
that they have put themselves in.
some of them will never see their loved ones again.
did you say a prayer for any of them?

here is the link
http://thinktank.groups.vox.com/library/post/6a00d4142cb4cc3c7f00fad6897d390005.html

Is the Church the Army Of God?

My dad is great.  He's a councilor and former pastor, and he wrote this article about the where the church is missing the point, and it got published.
Read, Enjoy, and tell me what you think.

As a pastor and now as a counselor, I have been troubled with the difficulty Christians seem to have with wounded people. I have brought people to church and seen them welcomed warmly, only to have them come back later feeling utterly rejected. It was as though, when the newcomer began to share his or her pain, the church seemed to back off in retreat. At the same time, the strong or relatively whole people seem to have little or no trouble integrating. Why is that?

It may simply be a human characteristic. We all find ourselves more attracted to those able to give as well as receive. We become more guarded when we encounter people who appear to be a handful. And when we meet wounded people, we find ourselves withdrawing because we realize they need more than we can give. We fear they will drain us, use us up. There is truth in such a perception. We do need to develop clear boundaries in our caring and not let wounded people dominate our lives.

Our contemporary evangelical model of church is partly to blame. We tend to be communities “of the strong, by the strong and for the strong.” Most congregations do not have a strategy or plan for dealing with hurting people. Perhaps we assume conversion or education in the Scriptures will sort out all human pain. But the evangelical church has embraced a military model of church that is fundamentally inadequate and causes us to fail in our efforts to be the body of Christ.

An army is based on three basic tasks: recruiting, training and deploying. If any nation is to have a strong military, it must be able to recruit an adequate number of soldiers. During the Vietnam War, America initiated a draft because it could not recruit enough voluntary soldiers to fight such a conflict. Recruiting potential soldiers is a problem in peacetime, too, because those who enlist tend to be unemployed or from poor families or minority social groups. Such people might make good foot soldiers and “cannon fodder” but don’t tend to make good leaders. Recruiting the right kind of soldier is the first task of building a solid military.

To shape a recruit into a soldier also requires extensive training and preparation. There is usually a kind of shock physical conditioning and discipline that focuses on obedience and fitness. A soldier is recruited and trained with the end goal of becoming a soldier who can fight effectively. The soldier must be in top physical condition to fight in difficult situations.

They need to be conditioned to obey orders in the most traumatic situations without question—even if their life is on the line. Training recruits to be true soldiers is the second task of building a solid military.

Recruiting the right people and training them thoroughly is pointless if the soldiers are not deployed to the conflict. Soldiers need to be in the area of conflict with the right weapons and all the logistics to allow them to fight effectively. Without proper weapons, food, clothing or shelter, the army will never be able to win the war, even if they have the best-trained soldiers.

This is largely our contemporary model of church. And in many ways it works. Evangelism is like recruitment, discipleship is like basic training, and mission is like deployment. The problem with this model is not in what it does but what it doesn’t do. It doesn’t provide for the wounded and infirm.

In the military, there is no place for the physically or emotionally infirm. They do not make good soldiers. They would never pass the physical requirements. And if a soldier is wounded in action, they are treated in a field hospital, but ultimately, if their wounds are serious, they are sent back home and discharged from active duty. At some point, the burden of care for the wounded falls on the greater society.

Here is where the model breaks down. If the church is an army, what happens to the wounded and infirm? What “greater society” are they sent back to? Who cares for them if they are no longer fit for ministry, cannot give out and must instead be cared for? Often the answer is no one. This model makes no provision for such a need. Whether it is the missionary returning from the field broken and spent from efforts at cross-cultural communication and isolation, or the emotionally traumatized adult who moves to Christ but brings an ongoing struggle to find healing from wounds, our model of church is ill-equipped to address these needs.

We prefer to avoid such responsibility. We’d rather have broken missionaries care for themselves, and we’d rather not recruit the traumatized into the kingdom.

The only other model brought up in some evangelical circles is the hospital. But the church isn’t a hospital either. If all we did was care for the wounded, where would mission happen?

A church modeled after a hospital emphasizes caring for the wounded and hurting but not on evangelism and social engagement.

If we are not to be an army or a hospital, what are we to be? We might try the model Jesus suggested—a kingdom or a society. I have used the words primary, alternative community. We need to be an alternative to the contemporary society. We cannot be simply a spiritual organization within a given society. Neither should we see ourselves as simply bringing our nation “back to God.” We need to be an alternative that humanizes life by its very character.

We need to explore and model ways of living together that are loving, healing and life-giving.

The church needs to be the society where the wounded can return and be welcomed, honored and cared for.

How do evangelism, discipleship and mission look if they do not emerge from a military model of church? Evangelism should focus less on eternity and more on a change of allegiance or citizenship. Discipleship should focus on skills of living in loving relationships (rather than simply Bible reading and prayer). And mission should be about communicating the Good News of the kingdom—a vision of transformation of culture in which Jesus Christ is truly Lord—rather than getting people to heaven.

Eighty years ago, my father was given a ticket to emigrate from Germany to the United States. He left a society between two world wars. He had only four years of education and would not have the opportunity for more. After arriving in the United States at age 21, he went to night school, received a high school diploma and became a U.S. citizen. Then he went on to university, receiving a bachelor’s degree, a master’s and a doctorate. Eventually he became vice president of a liberal arts college. His younger brother was left behind and drafted into the Nazi army. He became a prisoner of war and nearly died of disease and starvation. The difference was a ticket.

My father did not exchange one army for another. He exchanged one kingdom for another. And that exchange was life changing. Jesus said that without a new birth, we cannot begin to see the kingdom. Without a ticket, my father could never have come to the United States. But having received it, he was able to change his allegiance and citizenship—something that changed his life and future. Can we make such an exchange possible for the broken and wounded of our world? We can and we must.

as i look back on today, i stumbled and tripped up along the way
but i'll hold my head high, and look to the sky
cause by and by my god is behind me
keepin strong, cause this race is long
one step at a time, one beat with this rhyme
dont focus on the distraction, there are things i dont need to see
but by the end of these lines, there'll be attacks on my mind
trying to spread like a cancer, but i now the answer
beside my saviour this struggle i'll beat.

that was in my head so i threw it out there.  anywho, today was pretty siiiiick.  opened a business account for refuge so we are well underway in the financial area...atleast with bankin, cause the guy who helped open it was super stoked on what we are trying to do so he was down to help refuge with whatever it is we need.  god is really amazing in how he sets things up in ways you would never think.  i mean when i walked in there today i had this huge fear that for some unknown reason things just werent going to work out...but things turned out better than i couldve even hoped for!

less than three weeks before i leave for california!  im super stoked...im so stoked i think i'll go to bed!  i really am stoked though!